Beginning To End
by LemonTwist
Summary: Hikaris life was great. Great parents, a protective brother, a best friend whom she loved deeply. Then things went haywire. Her brother got into drugs, her mom started drinking, and her boyfriend cheated on her.
1. Within Hearts

"Tai, I'm going out for a while, ok?" I yelled from the front door.  
  
"Yeah, ok. Whatever." he yelled back. I sighed.  
  
Tai hasn't been the same ever since he started hanging out with a new crowd. He used to always ask me 'where are you going' or 'who's going to be there.' But now he doen't seem to care. It's all about him.  
  
I really don't like the people he's been hanging out with. They all think they're big shots. They use a lot. Drugs, I mean. I'm afraid that Tai has tried them. I don't know what I'd do if I found out he was using.  
  
I closed the door and stepped outside into the rain. I love rain. It's one of the only things in this world that can make me feel peaceful. Keep me alive for just one more day. It makes me feel so clean, even though it's probably dirtier than I was before it hit me. Sometimes, I wish I could go into a field and run and dance through the rain as it hits the grass, and then take a picture of the splash. The very moment when a rain drop lands on top of a puddle and causes a small explosion of water.  
  
That one moment in time.  
  
I walked up to the apartment building that Takeru is living in. Not alone, mind you. He lives with his elder brother. I'm not quite sure they left their homes to live together. It's not like Yamato's music is bringing in tons of cash, or Takeru's playing is bringing in scouts. But I have to give them credit, they've done pretty well so far. With the apartment, that is.  
  
I got up to the apartment door and knocked. It didn't take long for Takeru to answer the knock. He knew it was me.  
  
Me and Takeru.  
  
It's like we have a sixth sense about each other. He can tell when I'm standing behind him, even though there is no shadow. He can tell when I'm worried but just the touch of a hand. He can tell when I'm mad with just the glance of the eye.  
  
And I the same.  
  
He smiled when he opened the door, and motioned for me to come in graciously. I accepted, and walked inside. He took my coat and hung it up on the finished wooden coat rack. As he hung it up I sat down on the maroon couch and glanced around the living room. It was quite clean, middle class. Not something you would expect from a hardly-known singer and his unknown basketball-playing brother. I suppose Mimi and Takeru's mother have helped out a little. Couple of bucks here and there. Mrs. Takaishi probably bought all the furniture in this apartment.  
  
She's always been soft for Takeru. Spoiled him, you could say. But I don't think he took it for granted. He knows how to play fare and square. After all, he is a basketball player.  
  
After Takeru had hung up my coat, he sat down next to me on the couch. He looked at me, and I looked back at him. He smiled. I giggled.  
  
"What's so funny?" he asked me. It only made me laugh harder.  
  
"What?!" Takeru excaimed. I could tell by the smile on his face that he was about to crack up laughing over something he had no idea about. For his sake, I attempted to control myself. I finally calmed down, and took in a deep breath to keep myself from dying of loss of oxygen.  
  
"I'm sorry," I giggled to my friend whom I was in dire need of kissing, "your smile is just so funny."  
  
"Oh, thanks, I feel so much better now." Takeru said sarcastically. I pushed him over playfully.  
  
"Oh, that's it." Takeru growled playfully as well. He jumped on top of me and pushed me onto my back. He took a hold of my wrists and held them down next to my head, and brought his knees up around my chest.  
  
"Oh, you think you're some kind of big shot now that you've got a hold of me, huh?" I said slyly as I raised one eyebrow. Takeru brought his face right in front of mine, our noses touching, lips but two inches away from coming together.  
  
"Yeah, I do." he whispered as he locked his eyes on mine. I could feel a rush of hot, thick blood running throughout my veins and up to my face. I tried to control the heat of my body, but the longer Takeru was there, the hotter I became.  
  
He was so close, yet so far. If only I could raise my head a little, just a little, then maybe. Maybe I could feel if he had hot blood running to his face too. He was just sitting there on top of me. I could feel his breath on my face. minty, like he popped a mint in his mouth just for me.  
  
I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close to me. I wanted to feel his body against mine. I just wanted. But I didn't move. I just laid there, him on top of me. And I could feel his blood rush with mine. I could feel his heat. Our heat combined was so intense, I thought I was going to explode.  
  
I'll never forget that heat. That feeling. He brought his lips on mine, and showed me this intensity, this rush, this amazing feeling that he brought into me with the touch of his skin. I never imagined it would be like what I felt.  
  
When he brought his lips away from mine, his eyes looked so happy and scared all at the same time. I'm pretty sure mine were like that too. His cheeks were red like roses, and I felt an urge to brush my lips across his cheeks to see if they really were as velvety as roses.  
  
When I finally noticed his physical existence, and I smiled at him. My eyes and lips both formed a smile. And so did his. I pushed myself up and kissed his forehead, then brought myself back down on the couch.  
  
"Thank you." I whispered so quietly. He sighed quietly and nodded. He slowly brought his lips to my forehead and kissed me gently.  
  
Then he got up.  
  
He lifted his body away from mine and placed one foot on the floor and swung the other foot over me and onto the floor, then slowly shifted his body down to the floor with his back leaning on the couch.  
  
I placed my hand onto shoulder, hoping to get a response, but all I got was his hand over mine.  
  
"Takeru..." I whispered, "what's wrong?" He sighed gently and turned around to look at me.  
  
"How are we going to do this?" he asked.  
  
"Do what, TK?" I asked in reply.  
  
"Do this! How are we going to be able to be together like this?!" he yelled in frustration. He stood up and started pacing back and forth through his living room, while I stared out into the rain, hoping to get an answer.  
  
The rain always seems to wash away problems, or find ways to fix them.  
  
"TK..." I said, trying to get him to stop pacing back and forth. But he doesn't stop, so I say it again, only a little louder.  
  
"TK..."  
  
But he doesn't stop.  
  
"TAKERU!" I yelled, and got up from the couch and stopped him from pacing.  
  
"It's going to be ok!" I yelled to him as I shook him a little from the shoulders. He blinked, and then he sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry Kar... I'm just..." he started to say, but I finished his sentence for him.  
  
"...Scared?" I said. He nodded. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to comfort him, and hoped to get comfort back.  
  
"It's ok to be scared, Takeru. But everything will be ok, I promise." I said to him. I knew he listened, because he wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me close to him too.  
  
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"Mom? Dad?" I yelled as I entered the apartment. I took off my soaked boots and placed them on the towel next to the door, and went outside onto the balcony and hung up my drenched coat. I walked back inside, and I heard an unfamiliar voice coming from Taichi's room. I looked around, and quietly picked up a bowl from the table, just in case it was someone who really shouldn't be here. I crept towards Taichi's room, placed my hand on the cold, metal knob slowly, and swung the door open. To my surprise, Taichi was in his room, along with two boys, one girl, all whom I did not recognize, and smoke. I took a whiff, and let me just say it wasn't cigarette smoke, that's for sure.  
  
"K-Kari, what...What are you doing here?" Taichi stuttered in worry.  
  
"The real question is who are these people and what are THEY doing here?" I said accusingly with my arms crossed.  
  
"N-Nothing, just hangin'." He stuttered again. I decided that he was either so high that he couldn't tell that I knew he was high, or he thought I was too dumb to tell they were smoking pot.  
  
I walked over to one of the kids who seemed to be hiding something, and told him to stand up. Now, this kid seemed to be around Tai's age, maybe older, which meant he was about two or three years older then me.  
  
"And if I don't? Watchyougonnadoaboutit?" He sneered. The other kids started to chuckle, and I could here from behind me that Taichi was trying to hold back a laugh or two. I grabbed the kid by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to his knees while he started to choke.  
  
"Give me the fucking weed." I whispered to his face. His eyes started to grow wide from shock that I had this much strength, and reached into his pocket and pulled out a brown paper bag and threw it on Tai's bed. I glared at the kid for a couple more seconds, that let go of him. I grabbed the weed from Tai's bed, and asked if any of the other kids there had any more dope with them. They all shook there heads, and I yelled at them to get out. They responded quickly, and scrambled themselves up from the floor and left the room in a hurry. I had my back turned to Tai, but I could feel him staring at me with worry that I might tell mom and dad.  
  
"I won't tell them." I said as I stared out Tai's window. I heard him sigh in relief. I turned around and looked at his hung head.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" I yelled.  
  
"It was just a little fun, Kar." Taichi said with a shrug. I sighed in frustration.  
  
"Don't let me see that happen again." I said as I walked out of his room. I slammed his door shut, and could hear him cursing me and yelling at me. It eventually quieted down, and I walked into my room. I closed my door and locked it. I didn't want to see Tai's sorry face right now. I fell backwards on my bed and stared at the ceiling all while I was listening to the rain fall onto roof and the balcony and the floor. The way it fell...You'd think it was talking.  
  
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Takeru put his hand around my waist and pulled me closer to him, which was odd to me, because he was on top.  
  
It's been two weeks since he first kissed me, and everytime I'm near him I feel...Good. Like I'm on top of the world and no one can take me down.  
  
"So..." Takeru said between kisses, "Tai was smoking pot?"  
  
I nodded in reply. I'd rather not talk while Takeru's got his lips locked on mine. I felt his tongue brush against my lip, and I moaned in pleasure. Takeru could tell that his tongue made me feel good, nd he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I gripped the back of his shirt and pulled him closer, and he smiled through a kiss. He continued to run his tongue in and out of my mouth.  
  
Then he pulled his lips away from mine.  
  
"Why'd you stop..." I whimpered. He chuckled.  
  
"What's so funny?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing." He whispered. He brushed some of my hair away from my face and kissed my forehead.  
  
"Nothing at all."  
  
He got up and walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Matt's going to be home soon, and I didn't want him catching us making out. That's all." he said as he opened the fridgerator.  
  
"You thirsty?" he asked me.  
  
"A little. Just water." I said. I sat up and started to stare at the ceiling. I didn't notice that Takeru had walked over and sat down next to me.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Takeru asked me. I jumped when he started to talk.  
  
"Sorry." Takeru chuckled.  
  
"It's ok." I said. He put a glass of water in my hand and I took it.  
  
"What were you thinking about?" Takeru asked me quietly.  
  
"Home." I replied. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the couch.  
  
"Why would you be thinking about home?" Takeru asked me.  
  
"My dad has been fighting with my mom, my mom has been fighting with Taichi, and Tai's been fighting with my dad."  
  
"Why?" Takeru asked me.  
  
"I don't even know. Something about Tai's drug deal. And apperently my mom has been drinking."  
  
"I'm sorry." Takeru said quietly. I opened my eyes and turned my head to him and kissed him softly.  
  
"It's ok. It'll all settle over soon." I said reassuringly. Takeru smiled in reply, and I rested my head on his shoulder. And fell asleep.  
  
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I walked into the apartment to a now familiar argument happening between my parents. Words flew back and forth. 'Drinking,' 'job,' and 'Tai,' were some of the words I heard. I didn't bother to see what the actual argument was about. I went straight to my room. I fell onto my bed and sighed exhuastingly.  
  
"Have a good time at TK's?" Gatomon asked me from the corner where she was curled up.  
  
"Yeah. It was ok." I said. Gatomon jumped onto my bed and walked up next to my head.  
  
"What's wrong? You sound worried." Gatomon asked me.  
  
"I'm not sure. I just feel like something bad is going to happen."  
  
"I get that feeling all the time when I eat taquitos." Gatomon said. I chuckled. She looked at me like she didn't see the humor in what she said. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
I was in the middle of a grassy field and I was running. There wasn't really anywhere to run. I just ran. I had my arms held out and my head to the clouds and I was laughing and running and laughing and then I came to a hill. I dropped to my knees and looked down the hill. It was so high. I laid down in the grass, crossed my arms over my chest, and I rolled. I kept rolling and rolling. And laughing. I felt like I was flying.  
  
"Kari? Kari, wake up." Taichi said to me. I slowly opened my eyes and found my brother hunched over my bed, staring at me. I closed my eyes and groaned.  
  
"C'mon Kari, you gotta wake up." Taichi said.  
  
"Why?" I groaned.  
  
"Because Miyako is here." Taichi said. I sat up, but kept my eyes closed. I didn't really want to look at Taichi. He wasn't my most favorite person then.  
  
"Ok, ok. I'm up. I'll be right there." I sighed. I heard him leave, and I opened my eyes groggily. I sighed heavily, then got up. I went into the living room and found Miyako sitting on the couch. She looked like she had been crying.  
  
"Miya, what's wrong?" I asked calmly.  
  
"Can...Can we go somewhere else?" Miyako asked me. I nodded. She sat up from the couch and walked over to the door. She turned back to me to see if I was coming, and I motioned for her to go. She put on a friendly smile, and walked out. I followed her out of the apartment, and we headed down the street.  
  
"So, what's wrong?" I asked her.  
  
"It's Ken." she whispered. "I think he's cheating on me."  
  
"What? Why would he do that?" I asked. Ken and Miyako have always seemed to get along just fine. Sure, they have their moments of agony, but then again, who doesn't?  
  
"He's just...Been acting so differently lately. I can't figure out why. And he won't tell me anything." Miyako whispered.  
  
"Let's go get something to drink, ok?" I said. Miyako nodded slowly in reply, and followed me into one of the small bar/restaraunts off the street. We walked up to the bar, and ordered something to drink.  
  
"Now, tell me again, why would Ken cheat on you?" I asked her as the bartender gave us our drinks.  
  
"I don't know. Myabe I'm just stubborn or I won't listen or..." Miyako went on saying. I turned my head to keep from laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" Miyako asked angrily.  
  
"Look, Miya. You've been that way since Ken first knew you. I honestly think that those are some of the traits you have that he adores. I really think you're going off your rocker here. Ken wouldn't cheat on you and you know it."  
  
Miyako sighed.  
  
"You're probably right. I'm probably being a little paranoid." Miyako said.  
  
"A little?" I chuckled. Miyako gave me a glare, but started to chuckle herself.  
  
"Ok, maybe more than a little." Miyako chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, that's more like it." I said.  
  
I looked around the bar. The people in here looked either drunk, like they were trying to get drunk, or trying to hook up with drunk people. I wonder why people get drunk. Why they think it will solve their problems. I wonder what kind of problems they go with. Maybe they got laid off, or foudn their wife in bed with the mailman. Or maybe their husband died.   
  
No matter what the reason, here it's not where I really wanted to be right then and there.  
  
"You know what?" I said to Miyako, "Let's get out of here. We can go to the park and hang out."  
  
"That's sounds good." Miyako said. I paid the bartender and followed Miyako out of the bar and into the streets. We got to the park and sat down on the bench. Their were kids playing, chasing each other. One girl was crying because this other boy wouldn't leave her alone. Two other boys were playing in a sandbox. While one had his back turned to his castle, the other would knock it down.  
  
I love that age. Where nothing really matters. Where the only problem you have is a scraped knee. Where your feelings can't get hurt, because you don't know what feelings are yet. That day in age. The best day in age.  
  
Me and Miyako stayed at the park a little while longer, until she got a phone call from her parents, telling her ot go home. We seperated at the park, and I headed home. I could hear from the corridor that parents were arguing. As I opened the door, Taichi walked past me with a bag in his hand.  
  
"What's going on?" I asked no one in particular. My dad continued yelling at Tai while my mom whimpered.  
  
"Your brother's moving out." my mom sobbed.  
  
"What? Why?" I asked astonishingly. I wasn't that fond of Tai at the point, but I still loved him.  
  
"Why? I'll tell you why! Because your brother's a good-for-nothing son of a bitch that does nothing but bring drugs into my home!" my dad yelled to Tai more than me.  
  
"Dan!" my mom huffed.  
  
"Shut up, Nina." my dad growled. My mom let a couple more tears run down her face before she headed over to fridge and pulled out a flask.  
  
I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
I left. 


	2. Within Shadows

I had that dream again.  
  
Only it wasn't quite the same.  
  
I was running in the same field, wearing the same clothes. A long, loose skirt with a peasant top and an unbuttoned sweater. I looked kind of like a hippie. Makes sense, because in my dream I felt full of love and compassion.  
  
Any way.  
  
I came to the hill and looked down, and all of a sudden the sky went dark, and I wasn't on a hill. I was on a cliff. Below me was a rushing river. Waves crashing against the rocks, dirt flying, and I thought I could hear screams. From below and from behind me. I whirled around to see where the voices were coming from, but every direction I looked at, the voice came from behind.  
  
And they got louder.  
  
And they were screaming.  
  
They were screaming at me.  
  
I backed up from the voices, tripped, and started to fall down the cliff towards the fierce waves.  
  
And then I woke up.  
  
I looked around, but nothing seemed familiar to me. I don't even know why I woke up. It could've been from the dream. Or it could've been that it started raining.  
  
I sat up and looked around to see exactly where I was, and then I remembered.  
  
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"Shut up, Nina." my dad growled. My mom let a couple more tears run down her face before she headed over to fridge and pulled out a flask.  
  
I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
I left.  
  
I walked down the street in a huff, I didn't really plan on ending up anywhere. I wanted to go see Takeru, but I knew he was at basketball practice. I pondered a little, and decided to go see him practice. I walked down to the outdoor courts at Hayvill College, where Takeru's team practices during the summer. I looked through the metal gate, and I could see him running up and down the court. I could tell he was happy. And it made me smile.  
  
I stayed there a little while longer, then decided to leave. Basketball was that part of Takeru's life that I shouldn't interfere with. Everybody needs something they can hold onto, they can keep for themselves.  
  
I walked on, and the more I walked around, the more I wished I had my camera. This city is so full of different things that if I were to take one roll of pictures of the whole city, you'd think I went to five different countries. There are spots where children run and play freely through the streets without a worry in the world, there are places where pedophiles and drug dealers live. There are parks and forests, homes that have been burned down and corporate buildings. I just love this city. I thought of a place where everything seems so combined, so simple. And that's where I went.  
  
I went to the Harland Brothers corporate building, the place where my mom works. Most of the people know me there, so I had no problem getting upstairs. I took the elevator up as far is it would take me, and then I took the stairs up the rest of the way to the rooftop.  
  
Nobody's ever on the rooftop, surprisingly. This rooftop is the only place where you can turn all the way around and see every single area of the city. This building is smack dab in the center of Odaiba. That's the only thing I like about mom's work. This building. I looked around, and found exactly where I wanted to look. I looked out onto the water. Sometimes, if you close eyes and think really hard, you can smell the salt from the ocean and feel the sand between your toes.  
  
And the breeze up here is amazing. If it's too cold, you sit down against the wall, and if it's hot, you sit on the wall. It's great.  
  
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Apparently I fell asleep on the rooftop. And in an uncomfortable position, I might add. My arm feels like an elephant stepped on it. I stood up and looked around. From what I could tell, I was only asleep for a couple of hours. Thank goodness the sprinkling rain woke me up. I stretched, and walked back to the door that led downstairs. Thank goodness it was unlocked. I went downstairs three floors, then took the elevator to the first floor and left.  
  
I didn't want to go home yet, so I walked around for a little while. I wasn't sure if Takeru's practice was over, but I really didn't care. I needed to see him. So to his place I went. I knocked on the door, and Yamato answered.  
  
"Hey Kari. Uh, TK isn't home from practice yet." He told me.  
  
"That's ok. I didn't think he would be. Can I, uh, wait for him? Please?" I asked nervously. Yamato nodded and opened up the door more so I could walk through. I hung up my coat and asked if I could get something to drink, and Yamato laughed.  
  
"Hika, you practically live here. You don't need to ask anymore." he chuckled.  
  
"I know, Takeru's always telling me that. I just feel strange when it comes to other people's property." I said. Yamato said he understood, and left me in the living room while he went and got his guitar. I sat down on the couch, and felt flushed. Reminded me of when me and Takeru first kissed.  
  
Yamato came back in and sat down on the other end of the couch.  
  
"I hope you don't mind if I practice. I try to sneak in a strum or two in between group practices." Yamato said to me.  
  
"No, I don't mind at all. Listening to your music would probably make me feel a little better." I said sincerely.  
  
"You don't feel good?" Yamato asked me worriedly.  
  
"Oh, it's not like a sick feeling. Just...Trouble at home." I replied slowly. I really didn't feel comfortable telling Yamato about things at home, even thought I feel fine telling his brother. I guess I can sometimes tell how Takeru is going to react to the things I say.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that." Yamato said truthfully.  
  
"Don't worry about it." I reassured. "Now, don't you have a song to play?"  
  
"Yeah." Yamato chuckled. He tuned up his guitar a little, and started to play a song I hadn't recognized. Nevertheless, it was a wonderful song. I closed my eyes and rested back on the couch.  
  
And just listened.  
  
I let the music enter through my veins and run all over my body. It was exhilarating.  
  
"Kar? What are you doing here?" Takeru's voice said from across the room. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he had sweat running down his chest. I bit my tongue to keep from saying something stupid, and told Takeru that I needed to see him.  
  
"Something wrong?" he asked me.  
  
"No, no. I just needed to see you. Can we, um, go in your room?" I asked. He nodded, and said he'd meet me in his room after he dried himself off in the bathroom.  
  
I walked into his bedroom and laid down. His room was the master bedroom. I think him and Yamato flipped a coin and he won. Takeru, I mean.  
  
His room had a dresser that was on the exactly opposite wall as where his head rests on the bed. His feet would be about 3 feet away from his dresser if he were to lay down. He had a couple of posters up above the dresser. Mostly of basketball players.   
  
His room was usually dark, even though he had a window. He liked the dark.  
  
Takeru walked in and turned on one of the dim reading lamps on the side dresser and laid down next to me. He held his head up with his left hand, his left elbow using the bed for support, and wrapped his right arm around my waist.  
  
"So, what'd you need to talk to me about?" he asked me. I turned and looked at him, and his smile turned into a frown of worry.  
  
"Kar, what's wrong? Did something happen at home?" he asked me.  
  
"Tai moved out." I whispered. I turned my eye sight away from him and looked at the wall.  
  
"Oh Kari. I'm so sorry." Takeru said quietly.  
  
"It's ok. Hey, who knows? Maybe it's for the best." I said. I could see Takeru put on a sad smile, even though I wasn't looking at him. Takeru looked at me for a couple of seconds, like it was examining me.  
  
"Do you want to stay here for the night?" he asked me. It's like he read my mind. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, though. He has a knack for knowing exactly what I'm thinking.  
  
"I'd like that." I said quietly with a small smile upon my lips.  
  
"Ok." Takeru said kindly. He gave me a light kiss, then sat up. "I'll go run by Matt, see if he's ok with it."  
  
"Ok." I said. I paused, but then spoke up right before Takeru stepped out the door to go see Yamato. "Oh, TK?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah?" he answered.  
  
"Why do you call him Matt instead of Yamato?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know. Got use to it from my childhood, I guess." Takeru answered. I nodded in understandment, and he stepped out of the room. I could hear their voices talking, and then Takeru came back in.  
  
"Matt's fine with it." Takeru answered. He jumped onto the bed next to me.  
  
"You seem happy." I laughed.  
  
"I'm spending the night with you. What their not to be happy about?" he said. He giggled, and Takeru laughed with me.  
  
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Takeru pushed his tongue as far as it could go in my mouth, while struggling with the buttons on my shirt. I gripped his belt and pulled him closer, and he slid his hand up the back of my shirt and unbuttoned my bra. He slipped his hand back to my stomach and slowly ran it up to my chest. I moaned, and he brought his leg up closer to my chest. I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him closer, and Takeru took his other hand down to the zipper of my pants. He started to unbutton them, and took my hand away from his back and gripped his hand that was unbuttoning my pants.  
  
"Stop." I whispered.  
  
"Why?" he asked me. The tone of his voice sounded surprised, which in turn surprised me. I thought he knew me better.  
  
"Takeru, we're not ready for that." I sighed.  
  
"C'mon Kar. What are you afraid of? It's not like your a virgin, 'cause I know you're not." Takeru pointed out to me.  
  
"That has nothing to do with this!" I said in a disgusted voice. I pushed him off of me and sat up on the opposite side of the bed and re-fastened my bra.  
  
"This is bullshit, that's what this is." Takeru whispered angrily.  
  
"Well if you think my point of view is bullshit, I don't think I should be here!" I yelled. I grabbed my shoes from the floor and stomped out of his room, sat down on the couch and put my shoes on.  
  
"C'mon Kar, come back in. I'll help you feel more comfortable, ok? I won't be so aggressive." Takeru pleaded from the hallway entrance.  
  
"You just don't get it, do you?" I scoffed. I stood up from the couch and walked over to the door and put my coat on.  
  
"You're being ridiculous Hikari!" Takeru laughed.  
  
"Lets just see how ridiculous I am." I said coldly. I walked out and slammed the door behind me.  
  
It had stopped raining, but the dark clouds that drift along were still floating in the sky. I walked down the street, stepping in puddle after puddle from the evening shower. It was dark out, but the lights from the late night bars guided me. I walked on, listening to the drowning noise of the clubs and the engines of businessmen veering as they left street corners with hookers in their cars. I turned the corner, and headed down a more child-friendly street. I walked on for a while, the lights from the city disappearing and the only sight was by the street lights and stars. I walked up to one of the familiar houses in the neighborhood and knocked on the door.  
  
"Kari?" Miyako gasped. She probably could tell I had been crying, but I didn't think much of it then.  
  
"Can I stay here for the night? Please?" I whispered.  
  
"Yeah, of course, come on in." she replied. I walked in and followed Miyako to her room.  
  
"Listen, I know you have questions you want to ask, but I'm really tired and I need to sleep. I hope you don't mind." I said to Miyako.  
  
"Of course not. Here, you can sleep on my bed tonight and I'll sleep on the couch, ok?" Miyako said kindly.  
  
"Thanks Miya." I whispered. She nodded, and left me to sleep.  
  
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I was running through a field of daisies, laughing and having fun. I came to a hill that looked out over the field and climbed it. I looked behind me, and the field was gone. I whirled around, and the field was now a canyon, with a river down below. I turned away from the crashing waves, and Takeru was standing there. He walked up to me, gripped my shirt, and pushed me over the cliff.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I sat up quickly and gasped for air. The dream felt so real. I could feel the water rushing into my lungs, the waves pulling me down, my arms and legs hitting the rocks as I floated away.  
  
I felt my head and I was burning up. I turned the fan up, and went back to bed. My sweat sticking to me like silly putty to cotton.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I walked into the apartment and my dad was on the phone while my mom was drunk on the couch.  
  
"Did you have fun at Miyako's?" my mom asked my groggily.  
  
"Yeah." I said quickly. I went into my room and pressed my ear up against the door and waited for mom and dad to leave the living room. When they finally did, I crept into the living room and looked around for anything that would help me find Taichi, or at least where he was staying. I didn't find anything in the living room, so I tiptoed into Taichi's room. It was pretty messy. Clothes lying all over the place. I walked over to Tai's bed and picked up his jacket from the floor. It still had his scent in it. I brought it to my chest and hugged it.  
  
It was all I had of him.  
  
I could feel my face get hot and my tears start to form.  
  
I missed him so much.  
  
How do you talk to your parents about what happened with me and Takeru? And they don't even know we're dating. Of course, neither did Tai, but he'd understand more.  
  
I started to sob into his jacket, and I just wished he was here. Here to hold my hand, to let me cry onto his shoulder. Here to tell me it was all going to be ok.  
  
And then something fell out of his jacket.  
  
I picked it up, and it was a folded piece of paper. I opened it, and there was an address on it and a phone number. I gulped, and hoped to god that this was where Tai was staying.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I knocked on Takeru's apartment door, hoping to get Yamato.  
  
I had looked up the address in the phone book, and it was on the other side of town. I needed Yamato to drive me to the place.  
  
Nobody opened the door, and I heard music playing, so I figured nobody heard. I opened up the door and walked inside.  
  
The music was coming from Takeru's room, which was kind of odd, because the music that was playing sounded all boy band-ish. Definitely not Takeru's favorite type of music.  
  
I walked towards his room, and the door was a creek open. I look inside, and saw somebody moving around on the bed. I opened up the door, and found not just a naked Takeru, but a naked girl too.  
  
On the bed.  
  
Together.  
  
Under the covers.  
  
Kissing.  
  
Yamato came up behind me, and I think Takeru heard Yamato's footsteps, because he looked up. His eyes grew incredibly wide with fear when he saw me standing there.  
  
"Kari, wha-what are you doing here?" he stammered as he tried to put his clothes on. Yamato placed a hand on my shoulder and tried to nudge me away, but I didn't move.  
  
"You bastard." I whispered. I let my eyes burn into flames, and wished that I could make flames come out of my hands. I would've grabbed Takeru's neck and burned it to a crisp.  
  
"Hika, let me explain." Takeru said nervously as he walked towards me. I curled my hands into fists and ran one across Takeru's face.  
  
As hard as god would allow me to.  
  
"You better stay the fuck away from me." I said. My voice was cold, and my eyes were in flames. I backed up from him, turned and ran out his door. Onto the street. I had no where to go.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	3. Within Homes

I sat down on a park bench, but then quickly got up. What if someone I knew saw me? What if they asked questions?  
  
I can't answer questions. Not now. It's too soon.  
  
I walked around the streets for a while. I didn't really want to go anywhere, but I didn't want to stay anywhere either.  
  
I can't go home.  
  
Can't go to Takeru's.  
  
Can't see Tai.  
  
Miyako would ask too many things.  
  
I decided to take a bus to go and see Taichi. Or at least see if he was there.  
  
I don't like buses. Sure, it's free air conditioning, but there are so many strange people on the bus. One time, there was this drunken lady yelling at this old guy that she didn't know. It was psychotic. Good thing this bus wasn't full of crazed passengers.  
  
I transferred onto another bus, and got off at the closest stop to where Taichi might be staying. It looked like an old, run-down kind of place, but from the inside you would think high class.  
  
I walked up the stairs and got to the apartment room that Tai might be staying at and knocked on the door. A couple of seconds went by, and then this young guy opened the door. He looked about 21, 22. Around there. He had black hair that ran down his face, eye-length. I could feel my face get hot, but I didn't know why.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked me. His voice confirmed the age I thought he might be.  
  
"Um, I'm looking for a Yagami Taichi?" I said nervously. C'mon. I have a right to be nervous. I don't know if my brother will want to see me, let alone cares. God, I'd die if Tai doesn't want to see me.  
  
"Hold on." the Black Hair Boy said. He closed the door, and I heard him talking to someone, then he opened it back up.  
  
"What's your name?" he asked me.  
  
"Hikari. Yagami Hikari." I stuttered. He stared at me for a second, then closed the door again and started talking to someone. He opened up the door all the way this time, and motioned for me to come in. I looked around for Tai, and he was sitting on a chair in the corner.  
  
"Hi Kari." he said quietly. He had his head facing me but his eyes were looking down, like he was ashamed. I stood there for a second, not sure what to say. What DO you say to your brother who just got kicked out of your house for smoking pot? Should I yell at him for smoking? Curse my dad for kicking him out? Hug him and tell him everything is going to be ok? I wasn't sure, so I said one word in response.  
  
"Hi." I said. He lifted his eyes to me, and I broke into tears.  
  
"I missed you Tai." I cried softly.  
  
"I missed you too, Kar." he whispered. He stood up from the couch and came over to me and wrapped his arms around me like I was a long lost teddy bear to a three year old. I hugged him back, and sobbed quietly into his chest. Something that I was wishing for all along.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
"How'd you find me?" Tai asked me from the opposite side of his bed. I was lying with my head at the pillows, Tai had his feet at the pillows.  
  
When we were younger we used to always talk to each other this way. Kind of brings back memories.  
  
"You left the address and phone number in your jacket pocket." I said.  
  
"Oh yeah." Tai said quietly.  
  
Silence.  
  
"So, um, how's home going?" Tai asked me nervously. I didn't feel good about talking about our parents to Taichi. They kicked him out. They don't love him. You're supposed to love your son. You don't kick him out.  
  
"Mom's drunk and dad's on mission impossible. Literally." I scoffed.  
  
"Sounds like I didn't miss anything." Tai chuckled.  
  
"Nah." I said.  
  
More silence.  
  
I felt weird about asking Tai some things I wanted to know about, but I was going to explode if I didn't. But I couldn't. But I had to.  
  
What if Tai pushes me away? I can't handle that. I can't. But I have to ask.  
  
"Tai..." I started with a whisper as I sat up so I could look at him, "why didn't you call me?"  
  
Tai looked away.  
  
"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I couldn't. If mom or dad had answered, I might have lost it."  
  
"You could've called someone else. Koushiro, Yamato. Left me a message." I said.  
  
"I know."  
  
"So why didn't you?" I asked quietly.  
  
"I was afraid of what you would say to me." he whispered. He took in a deep breath and said, "I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me."  
  
"Oh Taichi." I sighed. I crawled over to his side of the bed and hugged him. I couldn't let go. I was afraid he'd leave.  
  
"I could never get mad at you for that." I whispered.  
  
Because of how close I was to his chest, I could feel him crying. I immediately became fearful. I had never seen Tai cry before. Maybe over a physical injury, or because someone or some digimon was about to die, but never over something like this. Never over fear of me being mad at him.  
  
"I'm so sorry Kari. I'm so sorry." Taichi sobbed. I felt his hot tears fall onto my cheeks, and I let my own freely run down my face as I held my only brother close to me.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
"I can't go home, Tai." I sighed.  
  
"Why not?" he asked me.  
  
"Because I can't. I can't look at mom. I can't look at...Dad." I said repulsingly.  
  
"You have to Kari. Where else are you going to stay?" Tai asked me.  
  
"I don't know! I'll live alone, or with you! I just can't go back." I said softly.  
  
"What about Takeru?" Taichi asked. I lifted my head up and looked at Tai in the eyes and shook my head.  
  
"I cannot see that boy again. Ever. Don't ever say his name." I muttered.  
  
"What happened, Kari?" Tai asked me fretfully.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I muttered.  
  
"It'll make you feel better if you did." Tai noted. I continued to look away from him. Tai got up from the chair and sat down next to me on the couch and squeezed my shoulders supportingly.  
  
"C'mon Kari, you can tell me."  
  
"Ok. Don't tell anybody though. I don't want anyone's sympathy." I said. Tai nodded.  
  
"Ok." I sighed. "Me and Takeru were dating for two and half, almost three weeks. Privately. We didn't want anybody else to know about it." I stopped to make sure Tai was following. Tai nodded.  
  
"A couple of days ago I was planning on spending the night at his place to avoid mom and dad, and he tried to get me to sleep with him."  
  
"Oh Kari..." Tai sighed.  
  
"It's ok, I told him to stop and he did. But he got mad at me because I told him to, and I left. I spent the night at Miyako's. The next day I found the address in your jacket, and I went over to see Yamato, you know, maybe he could give me a ride here, and I caught Takeru cheating on me." I said softly.  
  
Taichi continued to look at me with sad eyes while I kept my view on the wall. I couldn't bear to see his soft, caring eyes filled with sadness. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I rested my head on his shoulder, and fought with all my might to keep my tears within my eyes. I didn't want to let them go.  
  
"Do you want to stay here?" Taichi asked me quietly.  
  
"I'd like that, but we both know I can't. We don't have the money for it."  
  
"You can get a job, Hika." Tai said.  
  
"A summer job won't last. School's almost here, and if I get a job now, it will only last a few weeks." I sighed.  
  
"That's true." Tai sighed. Silence went by as we tried to think of ways for me to get a job.  
  
I would love to have a job and live with Taichi. That'd be miraculous. But Taichi's job...Tai doesn't have a job.  
  
"Tai, how are you paying to live here?" I asked.  
  
"Um..." Taichi started nervously. He looked away, and I could tell exactly what job he had. Bastard.  
  
"Oh c'mon Tai!" I yelled. "Can't you be responsible for once?!" I stood up from the couch and walked towards the door.  
  
"C'mon Kari, you can still stay here! It's not like my job is going to affect you or anything." Taichi sighed.  
  
"Tai, I can't live with a drug dealer, ok! I can't." I sighed. I put my jacket on and slipped my sneakers on while Taichi continued to get me to stay.  
  
"Kari, it's only for a little while until I can get a real job!" Tai said happily. I don't understand. What is there to be happy about?  
  
"I'm sorry Tai." I whispered. "But I can't."  
  
And I left. I went downstairs and walked over to the bus stop that I had got off of, but I didn't really feel like being so close to Tai. I walked down the street a bit more and waited at a different bus stop. The bus came by about five minutes later and took me downtown where I got a on a transfer bus and went home.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
It was now or never. I never imagined things would result to this. I always thought my life would be perfect. Perfect parents, perfect friends, perfect brother. Ha. See how that turned out.  
  
I got home and, as I figured, dad's not home and mom is knocked out on the couch. I checked the phone. Takeru called four times. I slammed the phone down on the charger and went into my room and pulled out a bag from the closet. I scanned the room, and figured I shouldn't really bring much with me. I grabbed two shirts, two pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts, two pairs of underwear, two bras, my journal, one book, an extra pair of shoes, and a brush. I grabbed my D-3 and stuck in the bag, then searched my whole room for any cash I left lying around.  
  
I peeked my head into the living room to make sure mom was still asleep, then I crept into her bedroom. I opened drawers, searched pockets, checked purses for any money she might have.  
  
I don't like stealing. Especially from my parents. But this was different. I couldn't get very far on $36.27. So I looked everywhere I could for any extra money. I found a lot within the walls of my parents' bedroom, and I hid it in my journal.  
  
I walked out of mom's room and went back into my room and grabbed my bag. It was hard. I was leaving. I never thought I would just walk out the door and not come back.  
  
I woke Gatomon up lightly and told her that we were leaving.  
  
"Where are we going?" she yawned.  
  
"I'm not sure. Just not here." I whispered.  
  
"What do you mean? Are we...Are we running away?" she asked me softly. I nodded.  
  
"Why? What happened?" Gatomon asked me.  
  
"Too much, Gatomon. Now gather up anything you want to hold on to." I said. She nodded, and I picked up my bag and went into the living room and stood there, looking at my mother. She was so calm, so quiet. I was going to miss her so much. But I couldn't stay. I couldn't.  
  
"Kari? I'm ready." Gatomon said behind me. I looked at my mother one last time, and turned around to the door. I grabbed my cell phone and stuck it in my pocket, wrote a little note to everybody and stuck it on the fridge, then left.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
"Kari, where exactly are we going?" Gatomon asked me. I was free to talk to her in public. There was no one else in this cart on the subway.  
  
"I was thinking of going to Okayama. I hear it's a nice place." I said softly. I couldn't look at her. She was just as sad as I was about leaving.  
  
"How are we going to live?" she asked me.  
  
"Well...I'm 18, I have money, so we can get an apartment. I'll get a job, and we'll live on our own. Make friends. I promise, we'll have fun."  
  
"Kari, we don't know if there are any people that have digimon in this place. I may not be able to make friends." Gatomon said sadly.  
  
"I'll ask Gennai if he knows anybody around here. Ok?" I said. Gatomon nodded and went back to sleep. I looked out the window, and didn't really see anything distinguishing. Just a lot of wall. Bricks. Red bricks. Some with paint sprayed upon them. Made me think about the Matrix Revolutions when Neo had to see the Train man.  
  
I took out my cd player from my purse. One of the only things I put in my purse that I couldn't fit in my bag, and popped in Dido's 'Life For Rent' cd. As 'White Flag' started to play, I couldn't help but think about Takeru.  
  
What he was doing, how he felt. If they found the note yet. If he worried about me. If he felt bad about cheating on me. My emotional tragedy mixed with the song made my heart crumble. I couldn't handle all of this. Not now, not ever. It's just too much.  
  
There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
I stepped off the subway and went upstairs and looked around. Gatomon was in my bag.  
  
Honestly, Okayama looked like Odaiba that went through a tornado and everything landed up in a different place. It really was the same place. I walked around and sat down on a bench while I waited for a bus to take me downtown so I could get a map and a newspaper.  
  
I opened up the bag more so Gatomon could cool off, and smiled. She was asleep.  
  
I felt awful about having to take her away from all she knew. Of my world. But I couldn't separate from her. I looked down at her again, and saw her smiling through her dreams. I wondered what she was dreaming about. Patomon? Fish? Taquitos? I didn't really know. She was this amazing small creature that seemed to be able to relate to me greatly.  
  
I lifted my head from the bag and stared at the sky. Man, how am I going to do this? I need a car. A license. A job. A place to stay. How am I going to be able to do all of this? Now?  
  
I ran my hands across my face and relaxed my back against the bench as I groaned in frustration. I sighed and opened my eyes.  
  
I wonder if Taichi found the note. Or mom. Or dad. If they did, maybe they were mad at me. They would've called. Wouldn't they? I mean, did they really hate me that wanted me to call to grow paranoid and I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. It wasn't on.  
  
If they did find the note, they couldn't have called me any way.  
  
I turned it on and found I had three messages. One from Miyako to see if I was ok, one from Takeru who pleaded for me to call him back, and one from Taichi. He asked me to come home. The way he said it, it sounded like he was crying.  
  
He probably found the note before my drunk mother did.  
  
I deleted all of the messages and put my phone back in my pocket.  
How could I talk to any of them? Questions, arguments, confessions. That's all that I would hear. I didn't want to hear anything from them. Even though I wanted to.  
  
I picked my head up from the ground and saw the bus coming. I zipped my bag up, a tad open so Gatomon could breathe easily, pulled out some change from my pocket, and got onto the bus and let it take me to where no one would ask who I was. What I was. Why I was. To them and this city, I just was.  
  
And that's all I could bare to be.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
"This one looks good." I told Gatomon as I pointed to one of many circled advertisements in the newspaper.  
  
"It's middle-class, two bedroom, one bath, a small kitchen, and a small living room. What do you think? $350 a month. I could probably manage that."  
  
"It sounds fine, Kari. Can I go watch TV now?" Gatomon sighed impatiently as she walked back and forth on the bed of the hotel.  
  
"Fine. I'm going out though for a job, ok? And I'm going to take a look at this place." I said. Gatomon squealed happily and jumped off the bed and walked over to the television set and turned it on. I would've said bye to her, but she was already glued.  
  
I had studied and memorized the bus routes and locations of this new town and started to get a hang of it the more I went out. I went down the street and waited for the number 5 bus to come and get me. It took me downtown to where I got a fresh paper and check the wanted ads.  
  
Nothing, nothing, nothing. I thought as I saw them all. Nothing I was qualified for or old enough for.  
  
Chef wanted. Must be experienced.  
  
Babysitting needed. Must have references.  
  
Accountant wanted. Must have references and be older than 25.  
  
Nothing I could take. I groaned, and flipped the paper over and noticed one ad in particular. It was a strange ad, one I hadn't seen before. Something you don't expect to find in a newspaper, let alone be qualified for. But this one I was. Unexpectingly.  
  
Translator needed for Recita Inc. Must be able to speak Chinese fluently, Portuguese fluently, Russian fluently, Arabic fluently, French fluently, and Spanish fluently. Call 747-5521 ext. #55 for more information.  
  
Who would've thought all those years of my mother teaching me Spanish and Russian, Ken only speaking to me in Portuguese, and learning Chinese, French, and Arabic in school and online would come in handy one of these days?  
  
I honestly thought all those languages would hound me. Who on earth am I going to speak to in Arabic? Yeah, my mom said that it would help me in the future. Like I believed her. But now I'm glad I did. And what kind of corporation would need a translator for all those languages? My god.  
  
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed the number in the paper.  
  
"Recita Incorporated, how may I help you?" a voice said over the phone.  
  
"I'd like to speak to someone about the ad in the paper? The one on translators?"  
  
"Yes, we're looking for someone who can translate to some of our staff during meetings and so on, are you capable of fluently speaking and translating all five of the spoken of languages in the ad?"  
  
"Yes, yes I am." I replied nervously. It had been some time since I last spoke all but Chinese of the five languages, but I'm sure I could regain them easily with a trip to the library.  
  
"Our schedules require inconsistent working hours. Are you capable of working in such a manner?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok...I can set up an appointment tomorrow around 3:45 at the central building off of Clark Road. Do you know where that is?"  
  
"Yes." I lied. But hey, I've got a map, what more do I need?  
  
"Ok! We'll see you tomorrow. Thank you."  
  
Boy, what an odd job. I wonder if it'll work out.  
  
I got on the next bus back home, or the hotel, and burst into the room quickly and shouted happily  
  
"Gatomon, I think I got a job!"  
  
"Cool." She said, zombified from the television. I sighed. She's always been glued to the television.  
  
I picked up the hotel phone and dialed the number of the apartment that I read about in the paper.  
  
"Yes? Is your apartment still up for rent?"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
"Gatomon, I got a hold of Gennai, and he said that there are some kids around here that have digimon. Ok? Now you have friends. I called them and they're going to be here within a couple of hours." I said to Gatomon as I walked into our new apartment.  
  
It didn't have much furniture, and the walls were a plain white, but a few more weeks of the job and I'll be able to afford all that and some!  
  
"That's awesome! I'm going to go lay down for a while before they get here, ok?" Gatomon said within a yawn. I chuckled and nodded, and she went off to the bedroom. She seems to like this new place. Sure, we both miss our families, but she knows as well as I do that we can't go back home. We can't. I couldn't bear to face anybody. It's been almost a month since I left, and no one has come looking for me or bothered to call, so I don't see why I should go back home. There's nothing for me to go back home to. A drunken mother, a ravage father, a drug-dealing brother, and a cheating boyfriend don't exactly scream 'come home'.  
  
And I hadn't had that dream ever since I got here. That's got to be a good thing, right?  
  
There was a knock on the door a couple of minutes later, and I glanced at the clock. They were early. I got up and went to the door, and low and behold.  
  
"Hikari." Yamato whispered. The last person I figured to come and see me.  
  
"Matt..." I said softly. He looked sad, heart-broken. Did I do this to him? He let out a soft sigh and brought me into a sheltered hug. For some reason, and no reason at all, after a month, I felt at home.  
  
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Um, something went haywire with my MW, so sometimes it's indented, sometimes it's not. 


	4. Within Dreams

"Yamato...What are you doing here?" I croaked.  
  
"I...I needed to see you." he said softly. I gulped, and led him inside. I took his hand and brought him over to the couch and sat him down.  
  
"Can I, um, get you something to drink?" I asked nervously. I had no idea why he was here. What if Taichi got shot?  
  
Yamato nodded and ask for only water, so I got up and pulled a glass out of the cupboard.  
  
I could feel through my veins how tense Yamato was. Like he feared something. He has nothing to fear about telling me and he knows that, so what's wrong?  
  
I filled up the glass and walked back to the couch and handed Yamato his water. He continued to look at the floor as I sat down next to him. His eyes looked so worried. I reached my hand over and took his hand in mine, and he looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong, Matt?" I asked quietly.  
  
"We miss you, Hikari." he whispered. "I missed you."  
  
"I missed you guys too." I said softly.  
  
"Come home." he sighed. I lowered my eyelids slowly and looked away.  
  
"Yamato...You know I can't do that."  
  
"Kari, please..." he pleaded. I could see his tears fall. Feel, almost. I reached my hand up and wiped his tears away. I could feel my own start to run. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him wrap his arms around me and rest his chin on my head. I felt this warming, comforting feeling coming from him. Loving, caring, like a hug I would get from both Tai and Takeru mixed together. I could feel my heart beat in rhythm to his, and I felt faint.  
  
Why did I feel that way? I mean it was Yamato. The same Yamato that used to babysit me. The same Yamato that knew I loved his brother. The same Yamato who...  
  
Who cheered me up when I was sad. Who sang me a song so I would laugh again. The same Yamato who got mad at me when I would call his music crap. The same Yamato who offered to teach me how to play a guitar.  
  
If this was the same Yamato, how come it didn't feel the same? How come I felt flushed when held me.  
  
"Yamato..." I said into his chest.  
  
"What?" he asked me. I lifted my head from him, just slightly, enough so he could hear me, but close enough to him that I still felt his warmth.  
  
"Does anybody miss me?" I asked quietly. He sighed heavily and held me tighter.  
  
"Everybody misses you, Hika. Your mom has gone crazy, your dad filed a missing persons ad, and Takeru's broken down into tiny...Little...Crumbly...Things." Yamato said slowly, sounding a little a confused by his owns words. I chuckled.  
  
"I'm serious! He really is torn." Yamato giggled. I sighed to calm myself down, but when I looked at Yamato's eyes again, we broke into laughter. It took us a couple of minutes to relax again.  
  
"Ok...We're...Going to wake...Gatomon up if we don't stop." I said between breaths.  
  
"Ok." Yamato said through a sigh.  
  
"Anyway." I said. A few seconds went by of silence.  
  
"Matt, how'd you find me?" I asked.  
  
"Internet." he said simply.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Did you tell anybody else that you found me?" I asked him. He shook his head.  
  
"I wanted to see you first. See if you were ok." he said softly.  
  
"I'm glad you did." I said sheepishly. He looked a little red, and I wasn't sure if that was because of laughing, or if he was blushing. Either way, he still looked gentle to me.  
  
"Kari, will you at least think about coming home?" Yamato asked.  
  
"Fine." I sighed. "I'll think about it. But you know, I won't feel at home. I couldn't stand to see Taichi or your brother."  
  
"I know. Well, about the Takeru thing, at least. I'm really sorry about that, by the way." Yamato apologized.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Yama." I said sincerely.  
  
"I know, but I feel like I could've done something." he whispered. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed is softly.  
  
"It was Takeru who screwed up, not you. Don't beat yourself up over this, ok? I haven't." I lied. Yamato looked into my eyes. Like he was scanning me, looking for something. Some flaw.  
  
"If that's true..." he started, still looking in my eyes so tenderly, "then why are you here?"  
  
I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it. He was right. I did leave because of Takeru. Well, not just him, but he took up about 65% of the reason. I looked away, and Yamato took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.  
  
"Hey, it's going to be ok. Tell you what, I'll get a hotel room and stay here a couple of days to help you out, or try to change your mind, or whatever." he said with a kind smile.  
  
"That'd be nice." I said. "But you can stay here with me if you'd like. No hotel necessary. I can sleep on the couch and you can take the bedroom."  
  
"No, no. I'll take the couch and you take the bed." Yamato insisted.  
  
"Matt, you're the guest, you get the room." I insisted even more.  
  
"No, Kari, you live here, you get the comfort." Yamato said.  
  
"You know what?" I started, getting tired of this silly argument, "I'll sleep on one side of the bed and you can take the other side. Sound fair?"  
  
"Deal." Yamato said, and shook my hand.  
  
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I couldn't sleep that night. I kept falling asleep, then waking up, then falling asleep again. And I had the same dream over and over again. I looked at the clock. I was only in bed for 2 hours, and I've already had the dream twice. I sighed, and went back to sleep.   
  
I was on the edge of the cliff, gripping onto it with all my might, and I heard the laughter of my parents, Taichi, and Takeru. They kept laughing at me, but then they started to fade away as I felt a hand gripped onto mine and start to pull me up. I lifted my head from the crashing waves down below, and saw Yamato, struggling to keep me alive.  
  
I sat up and gasped, my sweat running down my neck. I continued to breathe heavily, then laid back down under the covers. It was all just too much. Why did he have to come? I was fine without him, and he just had to show up and screw me over. I had pushed all of this aside, and was coping just fine. And now...I'm not.  
  
I started to sob silent to myself, trying to avoid Yamato or Gatomon hearing me. Apparently Yamato had a better sense of who I was than I thought. I felt an arm wrap around my waist, and I could feel his body heat against me.  
  
"Everything's going to be ok, Kari. It'll all be ok." Yamato whispered to me. And I just let myself go. I turned around and buried myself into him and sobbed onto his chest. While he held me. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry any longer. I had cried myself to sleep.  
  
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"Oh man..." I groaned as I sat up. I looked at the clock. It read 7:37am. I sighed and looked next to me, and Yamato was gone. I groaned again, and got up off the bed and dragged myself into the kitchen to find Yamato cooking with a towel on tope of his head.  
  
"What are you doing?" I moaned as I slumped over to the fridgerator and pulled out a carton of juice.  
  
"Making breakfast." Yamato said.  
  
"Then why do you have a towel on?" I asked groggily.  
  
"I took a shower." he said calmly. I walked up next to him and reached across his face to open up the cabinet. I pulled out a glass and closed the cabinet.  
  
"Feeling better?" he asked me quietly. I set the glass down on the counter and started to struggle with my actions. I turned and looked at him. His eyes, so peaceful.  
  
"Yes. Thank you." I replied softly.  
  
"I'm glad." Yamato said with a smile. I could feel my face get red when he smiled. Why? I had absolutely no idea whatsoever.  
  
All of a sudden my cell phone started to ring. I walked over to the charger and answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ms. Yagami, we need you here. They've called an emergency meeting."  
  
"Ok, I'll be right over." I said. I hung up the phone and turned around to look at Yamato, who looked a tad curious.  
  
"Work." I explained. "I'm going to go get ready." I sighed. I walked into my bedroom and put on one of the many cheap suits required for my job. I brushed my hair quickly, put it up in a ponytail, put on a little mascara, and grabbed my briefcase, which was pretty much filled with snacks, pens, and paper pads, none of which I have used. I stepped out of the bedroom and walked up to Yamato and gave him a quick hug.  
  
"Thanks for last night." I said softly.  
  
"I'm just glad you feel better." Yamato said. I smiled up at him, and I felt a tingling urge to give him a kiss. But not like how I felt towards Takeru. This was a different kind of urge. A more gentle kind of want. With Takeru it was more like a ravaging crave. But with Yamato...It's not. It's peaceful.  
  
Yamato offered me his car to get to work and I gratefully accepted. I had the license, but not the car. I stepped out of the apartment building, got into Yamato's car, and drove off to another day of talking.  
  
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"Kari can Lance and Deomon come over please oh please?" Gatomon begged me as I walked into the apartment. Lance and Deomon are one of the three only people in Okayama that are partnered digi kids/digimon.  
  
"I'm really tired Gatomon. How about you hang out at their place?" I asked as I set my briefcase down.  
  
"Cool cool. I'll call 'em, ok?" Gatomon stated. I nodded and looked around the place to see where Matt was, but there was no sign of him.  
  
'Where is Matt' I mouthed to Gatomon while she was on the phone.  
  
'Sleeping.' she mouthed back. I nodded, and went over to the couch and fell backwards, exhausted. Gatomon was having a conversation with the telephone when she put it down and jumped on top of me.  
  
"Can I spend the night?" she asked me.  
  
"Gatomon, I do not own you, you aren't my child. That's your choice. You just need to keep me informed so I don't freak out." I chuckled.  
  
"Thanks Kar." she said with a smile. She hopped off the couch and went back over to the phone and continued to talk a little while longer.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to relax for a bit. I wanted to go lay down in my bed, but I had to stay up for when Lance would pick Gatomon up. He came by about half an hour after Gatomon hung up. As soon as he left I darted to my bedroom so I could sleep. I was so tired from not being able to sleep regularly from last night. I walked into the bedroom and saw Yamato, laying in the middle of the bed, his eyes closed, his hair messed up, small beads of sweat on his forehead, and a smile across his lips. I took my jacket off and hung it up in the closet, kicked my shoes to the door, and sat down on the bed next to Yamato.  
  
He looked so calm, so peaceful.  
  
I laid down next to him, and just stared at his smile. It felt like I stared at him for hours.  
  
I finally began to get extremely tired. The tired you get when you know if you don't lay down, you're gonna faint. I kissed Yamato's cheek gently, then cuddled up next to him and fell asleep.  
  
That night, I had my original dream where I was running down the hill, through flowers. No cliffs, no stormy clouds. Just a peaceful, sunny day. But this time I wasn't alone.  
  
This time Yamato was there with me.  
  
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"Nice to see you up and running." I said, not shifting my eyes away from the TV.  
  
"Ha ha." Yamato said sarcastically. He came over to the couch and sat down next to me, placing his arm on the top of the couch, behind my head. I leaned over and put my head on his lap, still watching the television.  
  
"Where's Gatomon?" he asked me.  
  
"With Lance." I said.  
  
"Ah."  
  
I sat up and looked at Yamato, squinted, then spoke.  
  
"What do you say about me taking you out for a night around town?" I asked him.  
  
"Sounds cool." Yamato replied.  
  
"Great. Go get ready." I said. I nudged him off the couch and shooed him away from the TV so he would get changed, and got my shoes on while I waited. I kept thinking about all these feelings I was getting for this guy. C'mon. It's Matt. MATT. I don't get feelings for Matt, crazed lunatics get feelings for Matt. So then what was I feeling? Is this what homesickness is? I hope not, because whatever these feelings are, they aren't easily coped with.  
  
Yamato stepped out of the bedroom with a maroon t-shirt on and a casual jacket on top of that. I blushed, and told Matt we'd better go if we want to keep our reservation. I took his keys and drove off to a small, casual restaurant. We had a nice, simple conversation. It more like memories of things that have happened in the past. Stuff that's happened to Davis because of Jun, and that one fight Taichi had with Sora over a hair clip. Good, heart-filled things like that. The laughter we shared made me think about exactly what I felt towards Yamato. What did I really think of him as? I knew in the back of my mind what I thought of him, but I wasn't ready to tell him. Not in a restaurant, at least.  
  
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"That was fun." Yamato said as he entered the passenger side of his car.  
  
"What makes you think it's over?" I asked deviously.  
  
"It's not?" Yamato asked me curiously. "You're not planning on killing me, are you..."  
  
"No, of course not." I giggled. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."  
  
Matt looked at me funny, but I didn't react to it. I started the car and headed down the street. Destination? Clark Road.  
  
I parked the car outside the building and walked Matt up to it.  
  
"This is where I work." I said as I pointed to the imprinted sign on the glass doors.  
  
"Very cool." Yamato replied. He looked up at the skyscraper, observing the tinted glass walls that made up the majority of the exterior.  
  
"C'mon." I said as I tugged on his sleeve. We went inside, and I led him over to the elevator, and hit level 13, the highest it could go. When the elevator stopped and the door opened, I led him over to the stairs and brought him onto the roof.  
  
"Doesn't it look like Odaiba?" I asked him as the wind from the night skies blew my hair back and forth.  
  
"This is amazing." Yamato gasped as he walked around the roof, looking at all he could see.  
  
"My mom's work building back home has a beautiful view just like this one. Sometimes I come up here when I feel homesick." I told Matt.  
  
"I can't believe this. Thank you so much for showing me this." Yamato whispered to me. I walked up next to him and leaned against him while he looked out at the water. My heart skipped a beat when he intertwined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand gently. He turned and looked at me, my eyes. Inside of me. To see what I was really feeling. I looked into his as well, and they were so bright, so full of gleam.  
  
"Thank you for coming to see me." I said softly. I brought one of my hands up to his face and ran my thumb across his cheek.  
  
"You're welcome." Matt said as he leaned in towards me. He gently, and oh-so carefully, brought his lips onto mine, and in return I wrapped my arms around his chest. Yamato wrapped his arms around my back and brought me closer to him, and when he pulled his lips away from mine, I could feel tears. Some my own, some his. I hugged him tightly, afraid that if I let go, he would tumble down into a canyon full of waves. 


	5. Within Hatred

"What now?" Yamato asked me quietly as he ran his hand up and down my back.  
  
"I don't know." I said softly. I wasn't really paying attention to us, to him. I wasn't really thinking. I was just...letting my mind wander. Thinking about things. Nothing in general. I didn't really want to think about the situation at hand. I kind of just wanted to let things go with le flow. But I knew that wasn't going to happen.  
  
C'mon. Girl dates best friend, best friend cheats, girl dates best friend's brother.  
  
Not the easiest situation to overcome.  
  
And what would Takeru think? Say? What if he truly was sorry and wanted me back? Would I take him back? I would like to think I wouldn't, but I was attracted to him for some time, and my hormones could get the better of me.  
  
And how do I really feel towards Matt? I don't think I love him, but what if I do? But I don't.  
  
I just need some time.  
  
"I'm going to miss you so much when you leave." I sighed as I held onto Yamato tighter.  
  
"You can come with me, Hika." Yamato said.  
  
"Matt...I don't what to go over this again..." I groaned.  
  
"We can get a place of our own, Kar." Yamato said.  
  
"Can't you stay here?" I whimpered.  
  
"I've got the band, Kari. You know I can't."  
  
I sat up and crawled to the edge of the bed, my back turned to him.  
  
"Then why even do this. Why go through this again when we know it's not going to work out." I sighed.  
  
"We can make it work, Hika." Yamato said. I felt him coming closer to me, and he wrapped his arms around me and placed his chin on my shoulder.  
  
"We can travel back and forth on weekends and during holidays and-"  
  
"It won't work. It just isn't going work..." I mumbled. I turned my face and leaned my head against his cheek.  
  
"There's got to be a way." Matt sighed. He lifted his head up and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.  
  
"I wish there was." I sighed. I felt a tug on the back of my shirt, and I turned around.  
  
"C'mon, you need to sleep." Yamato said. I sighed, and laid down next to him.  
  
"Are we going to be ok, Matt?" I asked worriedly.  
  
"That depends on us."  
  
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Everything seemed to be flying. Flying and laughing. The trees were laughing, the sky was laughing, the ants were laughing. The hills were laughing. And I could fly. My spirit could fly. I could fly into heaven. And heaven into me.  
  
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BANG  
  
"What was that?" I groaned as I sat up on the bed.  
  
BANG  
  
"Mmph..."  
  
BANG  
  
"Kari, what's going on?" Yamato asked wearily as he sat up next to me.  
  
"I don't know. Stay here, I'll be right back." I whispered. I got up off the bed and crept over to the kitchen and pulled out a knife, just in case, and tiptoed over to the door.  
  
BANG  
  
"Who's there?" I asked cautiously.  
  
"Let me in, Hikari." a familiar voice said from the other side of the door. I opened it, and there stood the one person I never wanted to see again. The one person who shouldn't be near me when I had a knife in my hand.  
  
Takeru.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I said sharply.  
  
"To see you! I've been worried sick!" Takeru exclaimed.  
  
"For some reason, I don't believe that." I said, my voice as cold as ice.  
  
"Kari, let me explain-" Takeru started, but stopped talking abruptly. I stared at him for a second, and realized that he wasn't looking at me any longer, but over my shoulder. I turned around, and Yamato was standing there.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Takeru asked, quietly yet enviously.  
  
"I came to see Kari, make sure she was ok. What are you doing here is a better question." Yamato said with his arms crossed over his bare chest.  
  
"Wait, you came and saw Kari and didn't tell anybody?" Takeru asked.  
  
"Yeah, I did." Matt replied.  
  
"But you and Kari aren't even friends, why would you-" Takeru began, but his voice started to trail off.  
  
"What do you want, Takeru." I asked sharply, trying to avoid a brotherly quarrel. Takeru shifted his vision back to me.  
  
"I came to take you home."  
  
"I am home." I said.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Takeru asked.  
  
"I live here, Takaishi. I'm not going back to Odaiba."  
  
"You have to, Hika. Your dad is-"  
  
"Don't you ever call me Hika." I said through my teeth.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Kari? Why aren't you acting like yourself?" Takeru asked me.  
  
"Oh Takeru. Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me." I chuckled.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Takeru asked impatiently.  
  
"I tell you what the hell is going on! You're a sick, cheating, disgusting, filthy piece of crap!" I bellowed. "Do you honestly think I would go any where with you after what you did to me?!"  
  
"Kari, listen, about that, it was an accident! I just invited her over to hang out and it happened! I didn't really mean to do anything, I just got caught up in the moment!" Takeru said to nervously. I could feel Yamato start to tense up. The blood rushing fiercely through his veins.  
  
"That's a lie you son of a bitch!" Yamato bellowed. He ran up to Takeru and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are, pulling some sick shit like that!" he screamed into his younger brother's face.  
  
"Who the hell do YOU think you are? What's gotten into you?!" Takeru screamed back.  
  
"You are such a sick bastard, Takeru." Yamato whispered into Takeru's face. I shivered. His voice sounded so cold.  
  
"Yama, let him go." I said quietly. Matt continued to stare at Takeru, but let him go. Takeru fixed his collar, then looked at me.  
  
"Your dad sent me to come get you. You have to go back to Odaiba." he instructed.  
  
"I'm not leaving." I said.  
  
"Kari..." Takeru started, but Yamato interrupted.  
  
"We should go, Hika. If worse comes to worse, we can always come back." Yamato told me. I looked into his eyes for reassurance, and nodded.  
  
"Ok." I whispered. "But I'm going to ride with Matt in his car."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Take it or leave it, Takaishi." I said sharply.  
  
"Fine." Takeru replied crossly. I looked at Matt and threw him my cell phone.  
  
"Call Lance and tell him that I won't be home the rest of the day and Gatomon will have to stay an extra night."  
  
Matt nodded.  
  
I went into my room and changed out of my pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a white tank top with a sequin butterfly in the center. I brushed my hair, and put it up in a ponytail. I grabbed my wallet from the dresser, stuck it in my back pocket, and followed the brothers outside. I was sitting in the car, flipping through the stations while Matt and TK continued to argue. Yamato finally got into the driver seat and gave me a quick kiss.  
  
"What was that for?" I asked when he pulled away.  
  
"Just because." he replied blankly. He seemed entirely disturbed, and unwilling to share anything with me. I turned away, and could feel this little ball of anger inside of me. I don't know where it came from, but I could tell it wasn't planning on going any where any time soon.  
  
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"You ready?" Matt asked me softly. I nodded, and stepped out of the car, and followed Takeru into the apartment building, Yamato not far behind me. The closer I got to the apartment room, the hotter I became. I could feel my sweat escaping my skin, running down my back. Takeru opened up the door and stepped in, and I got this rush of intensity coming from the living quarters. I hesitated, but felt Matt's comforting hand rest upon my shoulder. I looked up at him, he gave me a small kiss on the forehead, and I exhaled heavily.   
  
Left foot forward, right foot following. Left, right. Left, right.   
  
And I saw them all. Taichi was in my parents home, not flinching. My mother, her eyes weren't bloodshot, and my father. He wasn't talking. These aren't my family members.  
  
"Tai?" I whispered. He looked so pale, so empty of feeling. I walked up to him knelt in front of him. He wouldn't open his eyes. I put my hand on his face. He was so cold.  
  
"Tai..." I croaked. He opened his eyes slightly and looked at me.  
  
"I thought you were dead." he said quietly.  
  
"What?" I chuckled fearfully.  
  
"We weren't sure if you were alive." my mother said from the couch.  
  
"What were you thinking?" my dad asked me.  
  
"I just needed to get away." I answered slowly. And then it went quiet. No one talked, no one breathed.  
  
And they I heard sobs. I looked up, and my mom was crying. I walked over to her and opened my arms up to embrace her, but she pulled away. My own mother pulled away from me. I felt scared, torn apart. The ball of anger I had felt towards Yamato before turned into a ball of fear, and I felt like it exploded inside my chest. I backed up from mom, and looked at Taichi and my father. Their eyes said the same.  
  
My family disowned me.  
  
I turned away and left the apartment. I didn't go to Matt's car, though. I didn't go to a bus stop. I ran. Further than my legs were able to take me. I could feel my muscles tearing apart, waiting for the perfect moment to let me collapse. My heart pounding so wildly that it was about to shut down.  
  
But I didn't care. I couldn't care. I would kill if I cared.  
  
I stopped abruptly at this part of town known for it's dirty, prostitute-filled streets. and I collapsed. Little did I know, at that moment, I didn't collapse from running.  
  
But from a bullet.  
  
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I kept flying higher and higher, unable to look down, for fear of being depressed. Everything was amazing. I had wings made of feathers and clouds, and my skin was as soft as kittens. Everything was full of joy. I could feel the world within my veins, traveling through me. I felt like the universe.  
  
And I started to fall rapidly, my wings disappearing as I fell. I dropped through a canyon, into an ocean of whirlpools and screams of death.  
  
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It's short, I know, but I wanted to continue the story in another chapter. 


	6. Within Secrets

I could see my family crying, sobbing, but I couldn't hear anything. It's like I went deaf. I placed my hand onto Taichi's shoulder, but he didn't look up at me. He just kept crying.  
  
'Tai...' I tried to say, but no words came out of my mouth. I started to panic. What was happening to me?   
  
I looked to my left, and saw doctors and nurses running back and forth. I walked down the hallway, careful to not bump into anybody. I saw a little boy who broke his arm. I saw a guy who had a cut on his forehead.  
  
Then I saw the enclosed operating rooms. One had a woman, and from what her husband was saying, had a heart attack. Another one they were trying to save a mother and her unborn child. One had a man who had a bullet in his leg. And then I saw another room that looked crowded with nurses and doctors. I couldn't see from where I was standing who they were operating on, so I went through the door and got a tad closer.  
  
And I saw me.  
  
They were operating on me.  
  
I walked up to myself slowly, fearing what I saw. I was laying there, tubes attached to me, wires running back and forth. I could see a flat line, but I couldn't hear it. I could only see the doctor mouth 'charge to 500' to one of the nurses who did so.  
  
He placed two paddles onto my chest, and I felt the electricity running through my veins, but I wasn't there. I put a hand on my face. I could feel my own sweat.  
  
'charge to 550' he said again.   
  
'clear.'  
  
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I jumped up, gasping for air, panicking. I could feel my heart pumping wildly, like it was trying to escape. My lungs felt so heavy, and I couldn't breathe correctly. I had a tube in my throat. I was crying out of fear, I could see my own blood. Two nurses pushed my down while a different doctor injected something into me. I only saw them for a brief second before I was out like a light in a hurricane.  
  
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I fluttered my eyes open, and saw so many machines, heard so many noises. I could see, if I looked really hard, doctors and nurses walking back forth through the window. One of them came in, checked a couple of things, and told me the doctor would be right in to inform me of my condition. I waited, and he did finally come in.  
  
"Do you know where you are?" he asked me. I nodded.  
  
"There's a tube that's in your throat that was helping you to breathe. We're going to take it out, but what I need you to do is take in a deep breath, and when I say, exhale."  
  
I nodded. The doctor unhooked a couple of things, then took a hold of the tube.  
  
"Ok, take in a deep breath," he said. I did so.  
  
"Now exhale."  
  
I did, and when the tube was out of my throat, I started coughing violently. They gave me a glass of water, and it helped me to stop coughing.  
  
"There are some detectives outside that would like to talk to you, ok?" the doctor informed me.  
  
"Why would they want to talk to me?" I asked. My voice sounded flaky and scratched up.  
  
"Um, do you know why you're here?" he asked me. I shook my head.  
  
"You were shot."  
  
I was shot. How did I get shot? Did someone in my family shoot me? I don't remember being any where that would make it capable for me to get shot. Who would want to shoot me? What did I ever do that would make someone want to shoot me?  
  
"Ok." I said softly. "Let them in." I said as I motioned to the door. The doctor nodded, and left the room. A couple of seconds later a woman and man came in. I could see the gleam coming from the woman's gun.  
  
The walked up to me, and introduced themselves. The woman was detective Cordey, and the man was detective Ronald. They asked me how I was feeling.  
  
"Like I just had a tube pulled out of my throat." I chuckled lightly.  
  
"I hope you feel better." detective Cordey said. She opened up a folder, and placed it in front of me. It had pictures of 12 men.  
  
"Do you recognize any of these men?" she asked me. I scanned through them and none of them looked familiar. Except one. I pointed to it.  
  
"Where do you recognize him from?" detective Ronald asked me.  
  
"He's..." I started, short of breath, "my brother's room mate."  
  
The detectives looked at each other suspiciously, then thanked me and walked out of the room.  
  
I felt so exhausted. Like I was drained of my energy. I wasn't tired, just exhausted.  
  
And what did Taichi's room mate have to do with me being shot? He seemed like a wonderful guy when I saw him, just cautious. I hope I didn't get him into unnecessary trouble.  
  
I heard the door open, but didn't bother to look who it was. I already knew.  
  
"Hey Hika." Yamato said to me. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were red and puffy. I felt so awful.  
  
"Come here." I whispered as I opened my arms to him. He walked up to me and gave me a gentle, yet loving hug. I could feel him sobbing secretly.  
  
"Matt..." I whispered as I rubbed his back comfortingly, "I'm ok."  
  
He lifted his head and looked at me, and ran his thumb across my cheek.  
  
"Don't ever leave." he said softly. I gave him a small smile. I couldn't promise him I would stay. Things happen. People change.  
  
Matt let a few tears flow. I leaned up, and kissed him gently. I could feel his tears on my cheeks. He pulled away slowly and looked at me. Like he was memorizing every line and fracture in my eyes.  
  
"Hikari...Tai was arrested." he said quietly.   
  
I closed my eyes and sighed. I was only half surprised. He was a drug dealer, after all.  
  
"He deserved it." I said harshly.  
  
"You shouldn't be so hard on him, Hika." Yamato said with a sad smile.  
  
"Matt..." I started, but figured it wasn't worth fighting over. Matt was Taichi's best friend, and he wasn't about to let him down. I sighed in defeat.  
  
"I'll try." I uttered.  
  
Matt gave me a smile of reassurance, and kissed me again before telling me that my parents wanted to see me. I nodded and let out a small sigh, and then he walked out of the room and my parents walked in. Mom first, then dad behind her. They walked up slowly to the bed, as if ashamed of themselves, or ashamed of me. I couldn't quite tell.  
  
"Honey...Are you ok?" my mom asked me quietly.  
  
"I've felt better." I said softly. My mother rubbed her arm nervously, while my dad stood still in the middle of the room.  
  
"I'm sorry, daddy..." I whimpered. "I'm so sorry."  
  
I felt awful. How could I leave my parents? What kind of savage monster was I? I left my home without any notice, I stole, I lied, I was horrific.  
  
"How could you leave like that, Hikari?" my dad asked me disgustingly, as though I were trash.  
  
"I just..." I started as my tears started to flow, "I couldn't stay there. With everything that was happening with Tai and Takeru and-"  
  
"Who do you think you are, Kari?!" my dad yelled at me. He took my totally by surprise. I didn't know what to say or think. I just let my mouth hang open. My dad stormed out, and my mom apologized for my father then followed him out.  
  
Matt came back in, and walked slowly towards me. I could tell he had been listening by the look on his face.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, Yamato." I said, cold enough for him to believe me.  
  
"Ok." he whispered. I could feel my face getting warm and my eye sight blurring from all the water I was concealing near them. I blinked once, and my tears flowed out of my eyes and down my face. Yamato wiped them away, and kissed my cheek.  
  
And I started to sob. Silently, at first. But when Yamato held me close to him, I cried into his chest until I couldn't cry any more.  
  
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"What are we going to do, Kari?" Gatomon asked me quietly from the other end of Yamato's bed.  
  
"I don't know." I said quietly with a sigh. Gatomon sat there patiently for a few more minutes, then went off to play with Patomon.  
  
"How you feelin'?" Yamato asked me from the hallway.  
  
"Sick." I replied. He came into his bedroom and sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.  
  
"Is like a physical sick? I can call the doctor if you want me to-"  
  
"It's not that kind of sick." I interrupted.  
  
"Oh." Matt said.  
  
"I don't know what to do, Yama." I groaned as I fell backwards onto the bed, out of Matt's arms.  
  
"That's ok, you don't have to right now." he told me reassuringly.  
  
"School's almost here." I said, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Yep." Matt said. He fell backwards, laying next to me, and cuddled up next to me.  
  
"What are you doing?" I chuckled.  
  
"Trying to keep warm." he replied.  
  
"Why don't you turn the air conditioning off?" I said.  
  
"'Cause you're better at keeping me warm." he said slyly. I giggled, and Matt rolled over on top of me and gave me a soft kiss. I smiled up at him, and he continued to kiss me, deeply.  
  
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Nothing felt right any more. Nothing was the same. My relationships with Yamato, Takeru, and Taichi were forever changed.  
  
And, although my relationships with the rest of the crew haven't been altered, I would never feel the same again. I would always feel empty, something missing from me. And I could never fill that space again. No matter how hard I try, it's not going to be filled. I'll be able to block it out, make it shrink like chemo to a cancer, but it won't leave. I'll always still feel that desire, that wanting, that need that was taken from me.  
  
And I won't get it back.  
  
I sat up and looked at the clock. I've been asleep for 7 hours. I looked next to me, and Matt was still asleep.  
  
Good.  
  
I slowly turned so my feet could dangle off the side of the bed and I slipped on Yamato's t-shirt and boxers, then I crept out of the room, getting one quick glance at his angelic face before closing the door.  
  
The night was up, but it wasn't very dark out. Being in the city tends to do that.  
  
I walked into the kitchen and poured some old, seven and-a-half hour coffee into a ceramic cup and popped it in the microwave for 45 seconds. I stood there waiting for it, and when it was done poured some hazelnut creamer into it.  
  
I walked through the living room and opened the sliding glass door and onto the balcony. It was nice and cool, just how it's suppose to feel when you're on the verge of changing from summer to autumn.  
  
I closed my eyes, and I could hear the sirens and guitar strums coming from the city. I could feel the vibrations from the drum beats, and the ground moving with every step a runaway took in attempt to escape the police.  
  
I didn't feel good. Nothing was the same. I was in a lost cause city. And no matter where I went, the city was still in me. And I hated it. I hated being there, living there. I needed to get out.  
  
"Nice clothes." I heard some one giggle from behind me. They wrapped their arms around me and kissed my neck.  
  
"What are you doing up?" Matt asked me.  
  
"Thinking." I replied.  
  
"About what?" Yamato asked me. I looked up at him, then stood up so he could sit down. I sat down on his lap and leaned against his bare chest.  
  
"About what I'm going to do with myself." I sighed. "I can't stay here, Yama. I can't go back to Okayama. I don't know where I CAN go."  
  
"Stay here for a couple of weeks and think about it. You have plenty of time."  
  
"No, I can't. I'll go crazy if I stay here another week." I said heavily. Yamato held me closer to him and kissed my forehead softly.  
  
"Just think about it, ok?" he asked me quietly. I nodded, and brought myself closer to him.  
  
All of a sudden I heard this low, ringing noise coming from inside of the apartment. I looked inside, then got up to see what it was. I walked towards the hallway and saw Takeru with my cell phone in his hand, ringing.  
  
"Here." he said to me as he shoved it in my hand. I could see from the corner of his eye as he turned around that he knew I had slept with Yamato. I felt really awful. I denied him but not his brother. I'm sure it hurt him more than it hurt me.  
  
I snapped back to the situation at hand and answered my phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ms. Yagami, we need you over here as soon as possible." Katina, the executive's assistant, told me.  
  
"Um, I'm in Odaiba, there's no way I'll be able to get there within three hours."  
  
"We know, we're sending a helicopter to meet you at Odaiba International. It should be there within an hour or so."  
  
"Oh, um, ok, I'll be right there." I said. I hung up the phone and walked into Yamato's bedroom and searched through the clothes that he had brought over when he went to go pick up Gatomon from Okayama. I changed out of Matt's clothes and put on my own, explained the situation to Matt, then left.  
  
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On the way back to Odaiba I was looking out the window of the helicopter, and knew what I was going to do. How I was going to live, where I was going to live, why. Yes, I was frantically worried that I might not make it, but I had to try. Everything was at stake, here. And I couldn't just let the idea slip away. I had to go with it.  
  
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"Yes, oh. she's right here. Hold on." Yamato said as I walked through the door. He handed me the phone and whispered "It's the police dept. They found the guy that shot you."  
  
I took the phone in my hand and brought it to my ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ms. Yagami, we found who shot you and just thought you'd like to know."  
  
"Thank you. Um, who was it?"  
  
"A man by the name of Dave Reshio."  
  
"Why would he shoot me?"  
  
"It's a little confidential, I'm-"  
  
"Please, just tell me."  
  
"Alright. Your brother owed him some money and he took it out on you, because you were family."  
  
"How'd he know it was me? I've never met anybody named Dave Reshio."  
  
"He was your brother's room mate." 


	7. Within Destiny

"Kari, please talk to me. Please?" Yamato begged.  
  
"I don't want to talk." I replied crossly.  
  
"Fine. I'm going go out and get something to eat. You want anything?" he asked me.  
  
"Tacos..." Gatomon said, as though she were in heaven.  
  
"That's sounds fine." I chuckled.  
  
"Ok." Matt said. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out of the apartment.  
  
"Kari, what's wrong? You seem really distant." Gatomon asked me.  
  
"I'm just not feeling well." I answered.  
  
"Why not?" she asked me as she jumped onto the couch and laid down next to my lap.  
  
"It's a long story. I really don't want to talk about it." I replied. Gatomon shrugged and turned the television on.  
  
I watched TV for a while. It was more like staring at the machine then what was on the machine. I was too preoccupied. I felt so disturbed. Tai was partially behind my close-to murder. How do you go on with life knowing things like that?  
  
"Gatomon..."  
  
"Yeah?" she replied.  
  
"How would you feel if we moved to America?" I asked, quite subtle.  
  
"Why?" she asked me, now focused on the conversation rather than the television.  
  
"I was thinking of moving to New York, near where Michael lives."  
  
"But why? What's wrong with Okayama or Odaiba? At least with Okayama we weren't that far away from home."  
  
"I can't stay here in Japan. I have to leave. You have to understand Gatomon, it isn't easy for me to be here."  
  
"Why not." I heard some ask from the hallway. I looked up, and saw Takeru standing there.  
  
"What do you want, TK?" I asked harshly.  
  
"Can't I talk to you without getting the third degree?" he asked me. I really didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to see his face. But that's not me. I should at least listen to him once.  
  
"Fine."  
  
He sat down on the chair that matches the couch, and seemed to struggle with anything he had, or wanted, to say.  
  
"I want to explain myself, Hikari." he spoke after a couple of minutes.  
  
"It doesn't matter any more, Takeru. It doesn't matter if you meant to at first. What matters is that it happened, and you can't take it back." I sighed wearily.  
  
Takeru looked down at floor. I could feel the guilt he felt, but there was nothing I could do. I was still hurting. Badly. The scars from the knife he stabbed me in the back with are still there.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kari." he whispered. I could see his tears form in the corner of his eyes.  
  
"I can't forgive you now, Takeru," I started as I walked over to him and took his hands in mine, "but I will be able to some day. I promise you."  
  
He looked up at me and mouthed 'thank you,' and I knelt down and hugged him. I felt really good to be able to hug him, after all this time. Some wounds may never heal, but some just might.  
  
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"You don't mind if I see Tai first, do you?" I asked Matt as I signed in at the visit sheet.  
  
"No, of course not." he answered. The officer on duty led me to the visiting room where I waited to see Taichi.  
  
It was an ugly, gray color, with metal bars on the windows and doors the only opened from the outside. It had one table in the middle of the room, and two chairs on either side of the table. I sat down on one while I pondered on what I was going to say to my brother.  
  
What can you say to a brother who caused you to get shot? In practically seems unforgivable. I could feel my anger rising with every second I was sitting there.  
  
One of the two doors opened, and I saw Taichi walk in. He looked horrible. Like he hadn't slept in days. My anger slipped away with the glance of his eyes. He sat down across from me, and I could tell he was struggling with the words he had to say to me too.  
  
"How, um, how are you feeling?" he finally asked me.  
  
"I'm ok. The bullet missed my kidney by an inch, so it wasn't that complicated."  
  
"That's good." he said slowly. He continued to avoid looking at me. And it hurt. This was my brother. My only brother. And he didn't want to look at me.  
  
"I'm sorry I left, Tai. I really am." I croaked. I missed him. I missed his hugs, his jokes, who he was. I missed it all.  
  
He looked up at me, and when he saw I was crying, started to let his own tears fall. I stood up and walked over to him, and he did as well. I hugged him. And he hugged me back. I could feel his tears on my face, and I'm pretty sure he could feel mine on his chest.  
  
I loved him so much. He was everything to me. He taught me so much. He was like a third parent to me.  
  
I cried a little longer, but when I stopped I didn't let go of him. I couldn't. He was my brother.  
  
"So, did they, um, find who shot you?" he asked me after we had calmed down. I nodded sadly. I pulled away from him so I could see his face.  
  
"It was your room mate, Dave."  
  
"Oh my god." Tai whispered, wide-eyed. He sat down on the chair and stared at the wall. To me, it seemed he was trying to figure out how or why Dave could shoot me. I walked up to him, slowly, and knelt on the floor next to him. He placed a hand on my head and stroked my hair softly.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Hikari." he cried. I stood up and brought my chair next to his and sat down next to him. I opened my arms up, and Tai leaned against my chest and cried. I kissed his forehead and told him everything was going to be ok. I said it over and over again, but the more I said it, the more I felt like I was saying it for my benefit, not Tai's. I held him close to me, and I couldn't bring myself to let go.  
  
He did stop crying, eventually, and we started talking about better things.  
  
"So you and Matt are a couple?" Taichi asked me. I nodded, and tried to hide my sheepish grin.  
  
"He HAS been good to you, right?" Tai asked me cautiously.  
  
"Of course he has." I said with a smile. Tai smiled back.  
  
"I'm glad."  
  
There was a knock on the door, which meant I had to go. I stood up and gave Tai one more embrace, and promised I would visit him again soon. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then walked out of the room, and Yamato walked in.  
  
I waited for about half an hour for Matt. After he talked to Tai and came out, we went out for lunch and discussed what we talked to Tai about.  
  
It was nice to see him again. Tai, that is. I really don't know what I'd do without him. I really don't.  
  
"So, have you thought about what you're going to do? Um, location wise, that is." Yamato asked me.  
  
"I thought I did, but after I saw Tai, I just...I don't think I could leave him. I feel like I'm all he has. And to leave him like this...Would be so horrendous. I couldn't do it." I sighed.  
  
"So, you're staying?" Yamato asked me anxiously.  
  
"Probably. But I'm not entirely sure."  
  
"That's great, Hikari." Matt said joyfully. I smiled, but it was only on the outside. On the inside I really didn't want to stay. I wanted to leave. I needed to leave. There was nothing for me in Odaiba except for Matt and Tai. And they could come with me, that I know.  
  
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That night I had one of those dreams again. This one was really different, though. I was walking around in a forest. I saw an opening, and I walked out of the forest and into this field. In the far corner was a hill. A huge hill. I climbed up it, and when I looked around, it was the same exact field that I had in all of my other dreams. Full of flowers. I never remembered a forest in my other dreams, and for some reason, this dream felt real.  
  
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"Takeru, tell Yamato that I'm going down to help Taichi make bail, ok?" I said as I put my jacket on. Takeru nodded and gave me a thumbs up, and I rolled my eyes. Both him and Gatomon were glued to the television. I chuckled lightly, remembering how everything used to be. Before.  
  
I stepped out, and just as I turned around, I ran into a familiar chest.  
  
"Sorry dear," Yamato chuckled. I gave him a smile and giggled lightly.  
  
"It's alright. I was just leaving."  
  
"Where to?" he asked me.  
  
"See if I can get Taichi out. Make bail." I explained.  
  
"Why don't I drive you there?" Yamato offered. I looked at him curiously, and nodded with a grin.  
  
"Sure. That'd be nice." I said. Yamato smiled. He always seemed to like to do me favors, as if they made me feel good. Don't get me wrong, I like favors, but I sometimes wished that I could do him a favor without getting one back.  
  
He poked his head in and reported to Takeru, then led me down to his car. He opened the passenger side door for me, then after I sat down, walked over to the driver side and started the car.  
  
"So," he started as he pulled out of the parking lot, "do you know if Tai CAN make bail?"  
  
"No, not yet, but I'm going to the court house to see if I can. I have the money and all, so that part won't be a problem." I explained. Yamato pulled up to a red light and exhaled.  
  
"What if Tai can't make bail. Then what?" he asked me worriedly. He cared as much about Taichi as I did, and I knew he didn't want to see anything bad happen to him.  
  
"I'll hire a lawyer to see if he can get a lower sentence." I said.  
  
"Can they really do that?" he asked me.  
  
"Yeah, they can." I chuckled. He rolled his eyes at me, and I laughed harder.  
  
The light turned green, and we pulled out into the intersection, I heard to my left a loud, blaring noise. I looked over, and the next thing I knew, I wasn't.  
  
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"Well, Hikari, you have a knack for getting hurt, don't you?" I heard from a slightly familiar voice. I opened my eyes slowly, and saw Dr. Renado, the doctor that saw me when I got shot.  
  
"What happened..." I asked through a groan. My head was pounding, and my chest felt like it was split open. I didn't know why, but it wasn't my first priority.  
  
"You were in a car accident. You suffered a mild concussion, and broke a rib. But other than that, you're fine." Renado told me. I felt relieved. I was ok. I had cheated death once more. I sighed, and remembered something vital.  
  
"What happened to Yamato?" I asked groggily. The doctor looked at me with sad eyes, and I could feel my heart race faster. He had to be ok. He had to.  
  
"His ribs were crushed, and punctured his liver. We did everything medically possible to try to save him, but nothing worked."  
  
He looked at me with faded eyes.  
  
"He died, Hikari. I'm very sorry."  
  
I closed my eyes solemnly, and sunk into my bed. I didn't feel like crying. When you cry, you admit your weak. I couldn't be weak anymore. I couldn't let it sink in. If I were to cry, I would've become to emotional to survive.  
  
But I really didn't feel like I survived.  
  
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It was a windy day when we held Yamato's funeral. I had been able to get Taichi out of jail with community service hours only, so he was there. Black slacks, black jacket. His hair flowing back and forth through the wind, only to cover his dull eyes.  
  
Takeru stood next to him, wearing a black suit with a blue tie.  
  
Yamato gave him that tie when he went to his first dance.  
  
TK's eyes were cold, and I knew he blamed me for his brother's death. He wasn't the only one. Maybe, if I had declined his offer, he'd still be here. Holding my hand, telling me that everything was going to be ok.  
  
Just like he always did.  
  
My parents were there to support Nancy Takaishi and Dan Ishida. My mom rubbed Nancy's back to comfort her, my dad standing next to Dan, telling him how good a guy Matt was.  
  
Miyako stood next to Sora and Mimi, each of them wearing some type of black dress, all three of them either crying, or holding tissues while they waited for their tears. Ken stood next to Iori and Daisuke, them in suits, staring at the tombstone, waiting for him to come up behind them and tell them it was just a practical joke.  
  
But he never did.  
  
And then there was me. I stood on the outskirts of the group, listening to the wind talk. I felt pretty numb. If I were stabbed, I probably wouldn't notice. I couldn't cry, even if I tried. It wasn't about the weak thing, either. I just couldn't bring myself to tears. I felt guilty for it. I was in love with him, and I couldn't bring myself to cry over him.  
  
Slowly, the crowd started to ebb, but I didn't follow. I walked over to the ledge and looked out at the ocean. The waves crashing about. It didn't seem real. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do. I gripped my jacket tighter to keep from shivering. Not from the cold, though. From the fear.  
  
I heard footsteps behind me, then they stopped.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it. The ocean." Taichi said from behind me.  
  
"Yeah." I said softly. I didn't want to look at him, so I didn't turn around.  
  
"Hika...You can't beat yourself up over this." Taichi said to me quietly.  
  
"Why not?! If I hadn't said yes, he'd still be here! He'd still..." I started in a rage, but I couldn't yell at Tai. It wasn't his fault. Hell, it wasn't my fault either, but I didn't believe that at the time.   
  
I let myself slowly become calm enough to speak thoroughly.  
  
"I'm moving to America." I told him steadily after I had taken a deep breath. "There's a job waiting for me there. I was hoping that after your done with your community service hours, I could buy you a plane ticket and you could move in with me."  
  
He walked up to me and hugged me tightly.  
  
"Are you sure...That you want to leave." he said cautiously. I nodded, and turned around.  
  
"Will you come with me?" I asked him softly. Taichi smiled at me, and nodded lightly.  
  
"It's not like I have anything here." he chuckled. I giggled, and then chuckled, and then laughed hysterically. I couldn't stop. Tai had stopped already, and held me close to him. And my laughter faded as I had my chance to cry.  
  
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I stood there, on that hill, the hill I had seen in all my dreams, and breathed in the freshest air ever known. I looked down that hill, at the field of flowers I dreamed about. I closed my eyes and smiled. I imagined myself down there, running and laughing, Yamato trying to catch up with me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me down, both of us laughing.  
  
I opened my eyes, and somehow, I could feel him holding my hand, smiling down at me, like he always did.  
  
"Kari, you ready to go?" Taichi asked me from behind. I smiled and turned around.  
  
"Yeah. Let's go home." I said. Tai turned around and started to walk back to the car, and I followed him. I stopped, turned around, and saw him standing there, smiling.  
  
I mouthed 'I love you' to him, and he said it back to me.  
  
He may have not been there, physically, but I know that he knows I love him. Whether I got to tell his face or not. He knows. 


	8. AN

Er, I hope I didn't disapoint some of you, but that last chapter was THE LAST chapter. o.-  
  
Soz about all the confusion. Don't be mad. And no, no takaris in hurr. 


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